Tender Mercy

I haven't gone into much detail, but Sarah is having more problems.  We did see some improvement on the hypoallergenic formula but there was no improvement with the refluxing.  The pediatrician had her on two different antacids to try and make some difference.  Meanwhile this last week has been terrible.  Poor little girl has been crying, fussing, spitting up, and NOT sleeping.  We have had a rocky road, and it has been very difficult.  I walked into church on Sunday with a crying baby and ushered the older three in to the pew to sit with our adopted ward Grandma and then left to feed and rock Sarah in the mother's lounge.

As I sat in that cold room, I was feeling sorry for myself.  Why me?  Why another fussy baby?  Why do I have to miss the sacrament yet again?  After the feeding another mother came in to nurse her baby who looked about the same age as Sarah.  My eyes welled with tears as I watched her hungry baby latch on to nurse.  I started to feel even sorrier for myself.  Why couldn't I breastfeed my little girl?

The other sister started up a conversation with me.  Our little ones were just two days apart.  She asked me if I was getting any sleep, and I just told her that we weren't getting much because of the some possible allergies and reflux issues.  She then pointed to her little one and said "we are three for three with allergies."  It was amazing how similar our stories were.  All three of hers have had similar problems to Jacob and Sarah.  We compared notes on medicine, doctors, and just overall compassion because we knew what each other was going through.

I left the mother's room with a warm heart.  My sorrowful feelings were gone and replaced with a knowledge that Heavenly Father knows me.  He knows my heart.  He knows my imperfect feelings.  He knows me.  How grateful I am for His love and blessing me with a beautiful tender mercy.