"They can't see what is behind them."

I had an experience the other day where I was going to the grocery store with three kids by myself. This has only happened one other time. As usually Sarah was screaming Bizerk-o the entire ride. (Have I mentioned how much Sarah cries in her carseat?  She cries non stop. Completely hates it. In general she is a very fussy, crying baby.). I wouldn't have gone except that I was completely out of Sarah's reflux medicine, and she needed it. So I enter the parking lot and as luck would have it a car was pulling out of a parking spot right in front of the door. I stopped as the car was already pulling out. There was a car in the road with me that wanted to turn in front of me. I stopped leaving plenty of room for the woman driver to turn. She apparently didn't want to turn in front if me and was waving me to go. As obvious as it was to me that I couldn't go because of the car pulling out, the car was behind them and they couldn't see it. The man in the passenger seat was by this time irate and yelling at me to move with arms flailing at everything. He could have been shouting obscenities at me for all I know because both the man and woman were just so upset. I kept waving them to turn but the driver refused. The I tried pointing, but they never looked back. I sat helpless as I seriously couldn't pull forward all the while enduring their wrath. Finally after what seemed an eternity they finally gave up on me moving and turned. The man in the passenger seat yelling at me all the while. As if an hysterical screaming baby in my own car wasn't stressful enough now I was filled with even more.  Just as I was beginning to feel more rattled I felt these words come to my mind "They can't see what is behind them."  It seemed to comfort me as I knew Sarah would continue to scream all the while in the store and all the way home again. We did get a lot of looks in the store and several "You've got your hands full" comments, but I had to do it do Sarah could get her medicine.

All the way home and for several days after the thought "They can't see what is behind them" has been running through my head.  I haven't written much about Sarah and her struggles but life has been hard. It feels like an impossible task to keep her happy and from screaming as well as be a mother to the other three. I have so many little choices like keep holding Sarah to get her some much needed sleep bouncing a dark room or go comfort another who just got hit in the head with the plastic Harry Potter wand and is screaming . . . but if I leave the room Sarah will surely wake from all the screaming. There are endless cases of the same scenario each day, and it makes things really, really hard. But as those words kept coming to my mind days after it happened and often in my overwhelmed state, they seemed to say "you can't see around you yet.  You can't see what is to the back, side or front right now, but it will all be worth it."  I realized that I have been a lot like those passengers in that car feeling upset, angry, and even bitter at times over the little view that I have of my life right now. Yet I know in my very limited view I can't see why things around me are standing still or why there appears to a stoppage in all that I long to accomplish both in my life and the lives of my children. But what I have learned unlike those passengers is that I need to stop feeling so upset at my limited view for I know the whole picture will soon be ready for viewing.

Daffodil Princess

Stephen and the three oldest went out to run some errands on Saturday and one of their stops was the library to pick up some books that I placed on hold.  Emma was ecstatic to find that the Daffodil Princesses were there.  She and Jacob both got to decorate crowns with the princesses.  Emma was thrilled to get her picture taken!

Valentine's Day

We had a good Valentine's Day.  The kids each handed out their valentines that we made. 

 Here was Benjamin's.  We added a glow bracelet to the light saber.  Benjamin was very pleased, and I think his teacher even said he wanted to do it next year.  We got the idea off of the internet.

This was Emma's. I put the card in a CD sleeve so it looked like a fish bowl and then added some swedish fish to it.  I was inspired by some off of the internet, but none that I saw did the fishbowl CD sleeve thing.  

Then the kids and I made sugar cookies in the shape of a heart for their dessert that evening.  Stephen got babysitters scheduled so that we could go out to dinner and brought me home some roses.  It was so needed and wonderful!  It was Sarah's first time being babysat, and she did great.  It was also so nice to not have to worry about her because she was in great hands at a sister in the ward's house.  We had a college-age girl come to babysit the other three at our house.  We had Thai food which was delicious.

Stephen took the only picture of the day of the kiddos.  I wish that I had taken more but -- such is life.

Special Person's Day at Preschool

Emma and I got to go to her preschool for a special person's tea and lunch.  We had a great time together.  Here are some pictures of our day together.

3 Months Old!

Science and Technology Fair

Benjamin decided he wanted to do a project for the Science and Technology Fair at his school.  His fair was a bit tricky because it was the same night as Emma's birthday, but we made it all work.  Grandpa and Grandma sent a science kit for Christmas that Dad and Benjamin used to test conductivity of different kinds of water.  He had so much fun testing the voltage with the computer and recording it.  It seems he may have been caught by the science bug and is now planning on what experiment he can do next.  

Benjamin and his temporary teacher while his teacher is on maternity leave

explaining his project

Emma's 4th Birthday

Emma's birthday was celebrated for days.  We had birthday party with both sets of grandparents on Sunday night and then continued celebrating until her actual birthday on Tuesday, February 5th.  She is very into Hello Kitty right now and requested with specificity that kind of cake.  I did my best, but we wished Aunt Liz had been here to make it look professional!  Emma received clothes (new shirts and leggings), a Hello Kitty bank, a Hello Kitty activity book, her "Grandmas Are Great" book, and Hello Kitty stickers with a pink necklace, bracelet, and ring set.  We sure love you little miss E.  

Happy 4th Birthday!

The first set of pictures are from Sunday night.  

On her actual birthday

 I love this sequence of her opening her Hello Kitty bank.  She is in love with it!

Emma's birthday decorations were a little more subdued this year with all that we had going on, but she loved them.  It just goes to show me that simple things can be appreciated just as much as the more time consuming.  She did also have a sign on railing upstairs along with balloons hanging down from her door that I failed to get a picture of (that has become a new tradition to see decorations as soon as they wake up). 

Sarah's Blessing

We were going to bless Sarah at church on Sunday, but with her RSV and everything that she had been through we decided not to risk her picking up anything else and blessed her at home.  Stephen, his dad, my dad, and my brother were in the circle for the blessing.  It was a wonderful event even if it was a little different than what we had planned.